If you would have told me a year ago that I would be living back in California, I would’ve told you to kick rocks…theres absolutely no way. But, I would’ve been wrong.
It’s taken me awhile to write this, maybe because I’ve had hope that we would go back to Texas. Yes, I have my family here, I grew up here…the first 29 years of my life were spent in California….a true CA girl. 2019 was a hard year for me, for my mindset and I was depressed. I don’t think I’ve ever cried so much in my life. Saying ‘see ya later’ to our friends and neighbors was so hard. I think about the one I couldn’t say goodbye to and hope one day I see them again. Leaving a place that you love so much, that your life is so intertwined with, was for me, so sad. I tried my very best to fake it, but those who know me best saw right though it.
It’s funny, because as I look back, Texas was a big “Hmmm never considered Texas” lets give it a try. I had so many preconceived notions as to what Texas was all about. Then I fell in love with it, I fell hard and I’m pretty sure it was always be ‘home‘ to me. The six years there were truly some of the best years.
I feel like only people that have lived somewhere else (and loved it) then moved to or back to CA, can understand what I am talking about. Most don’t understand and just say ‘Yeah, but the weather is so great‘. They would be right about that. I just miss our life, I miss the incredible people and the proud since of community. I think that’s what it is, the community is what I miss the most (and the home prices)LOL. Closing my business was rough as I built it to be everything I had wanted and I loved my clients! As to whether or not I will re-launch my business here….I really would like to, I miss shooting so much, truth is, I just don’t know yet.
I have to tell you all, I have had several times when God has shown up. He’s shown up BIG this year. In the past few years he has laid things out for me, so clearly. He helped me up, has helped me though, brought light to my darkness and as always, I have to trust his plan. One of my favorite quotes is “We have a plan and God just laughs” it couldn’t be more true. I recently had someone, who’s been through this exact thing…around the same stage of life, tell me It’ll take two years to feel settled, to feel ‘at home’, I pray she’s right. Change is hard, growth is hard, sometimes uncomfortable but in order to move forward we must embrace change. I am embracing being back in SoCal and I will give it the time it deserves.
So! to say I am ready to put 2019 behind me is an understatement. I’m ready to bring on 2020 and the New decade! I am excited to see what Gods plan is. This past decade has been so full of lessons, I am welcoming the new with open arms. It will be a time for growth, for happiness, for health and for release. I lot can happen in a year, let alone a decade!
Thank you all for being on this journey with me.
Cheers to you all and cheers to new beginnings and adventures!